How to Find Your Ikigai

Reconnecting with the Purpose Beneath Survival

I don’t know about you, but I have spent most of my life trying to figure out my purpose, how to survive, and what the combination of these would look like.

In that recurring thought process, I have become very curious, not just about my own life and purpose, but about how others relate to this same dilemma. The question returns again and again: how do we do what we love in life, in a way that supports us and feels deeply meaningful?

It feels like a uniquely modern problem. We see people online who seem to have it figured out, we’re told to “follow our passion,” and the old social contracts around work have dissolved. But the dilemma itself is nothing new. That pull between survival and meaning, between putting food on the table and doing something that actually feels alive, has been with humanity since the beginning.

The ancient Greeks built their concept of Telos around it. The Japanese named it Ikigai. Indian philosophy calls it dharma. Every culture that’s wrestled with what it means to live well has landed on this same question: how do you survive in a way that honors who you are?

Survival vs. Meaning (And Why We Don’t Have to Choose)

Most of us spend our life trying to reconcile these two competing needs, favoring one or the other, rarely finding a balance. I think of the passionate but starving artist archetype, or his counterpart- the miserable but successful business man. Or the wild and free (usually broke) vagabond vs. the stable grounded (but feeling frustrated) house wife. We all want stability, but we also want freedom. We want to be safe, but we also want to feel like we matter. We want it all. And maybe, just maybe, we can have it.

Ever have that sense that you’re capable of more? That there’s something inside you waiting to be expressed? That feeling is there for a reason, and it isn’t just your imagination.

That feeling? It’s your inner calling. It’s your innate purpose beckoning you. It is not something you can easily forget, and it will not leave you alone until you listen to it. Because, it is guiding you to find that balance, that sweet spot in life that the ancient Greeks called it Telos. The Japanese call it Ikigai.

Both point to the same truth: fulfillment begins when what you do starts to reflect who you are. This is the meeting point of these seemingly competing forces of survival and purpose.

What Ikigai Really Means

Ikigai (生き甲斐) translates roughly to “a reason for being.” It comes from iki (to live) and gai (worth or value). The idea emerged in Okinawa, Japan, a region known for longevity and joy, where people live with quiet purpose, rooted in community and contribution. They don’t chase purpose as a goal. They live it through small, meaningful acts every day.

Ikigai sits at the intersection of what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what sustains you.

But it’s not just a diagram. It’s an orientation, a way of living where work, relationships, and growth all express your deeper values.

From Values to Vehicles

In the West, we often mistake our vehicle for our purpose. We think our job, business, or creative pursuit is the purpose itself. But those are only expressions, temporary forms that carry the essence of what really drives us: our values.

Your Ikigai is how you live those values in motion. Therefore, if you really want to know your ikigai, your path, you must start with deepening your self understanding. This is perhaps what Socrates pointed to with his famous words “know thyself.”

What are your deeper values? These are the things that really matter to you at the end of the day. Not just what, but WHY. Why do we want what we want? Some of my own deeper values, that I have discovered over time, are creativity, learning, connection, freedom, and service. If I’m creating, building, and helping others grow, I feel aligned, no matter what form that takes. When I ignore those values, even success feels hollow.

To find your own, start simply: Write down the goals and things that matter most to you. Then, for each one, ask, “If I had this fully, what would it give me?” This tells you why you want it. And then ask why that reason why is important.

Keep going until you uncover the layer beneath, the feeling or state you’re truly seeking. Often, what we call “financial freedom” or “stability” is really a desire for peace, safety, or creative space. When you know that, you can build your career or business around the deeper needs, not just the surface goal.

How Ikigai Applies in Modern Life

Ikigai isn’t a luxury concept for monks and retirees. It’s practical. It asks you to look at your daily life and ask: Does this reflect what I value?

Maybe your job isn’t perfect, but you can still bring more of yourself into it: creativity, service, empathy, curiosity.

You can design side projects, routines, or relationships that express your values until your outer world catches up with your inner one. Alignment doesn’t always mean quitting everything. Sometimes it means bringing purpose into what’s already here.

In the Western world, where identity is often tied to productivity, Ikigai offers balance. It reminds us that meaning isn’t found in endless striving, but in living with integrity.

Listening for Direction

Finding your Ikigai isn’t about overthinking. It’s about listening. Listen to your heart, to coincidences, to the questions people keep asking you. Notice the themes that repeat: the obstacles you’ve overcome, the subjects that draw you in, the causes that make you feel alive. Life leaves clues. Listen. Watch. Pay attention.

In many cultures, from the Taoist concept of Wu Wei, to the Indian concept of dharma, purpose is seen as something that calls to you quietly, not something you invent or force. It’s revealed through experience, patterns, and the quiet pull of what feels true.

Universal and Personal Purpose

There are universal purposes we all share: growth, learning, love, service. But each person has a unique expression of those.

Your Ikigai isn’t about being special. It’s about being fully yourself in service to something larger. Think of it as tuning your life to the right frequency, one that harmonizes with both your soul and the world around you.

From Ikigai to Telos

In the Telos Path, Ikigai is how you practice your Telos, the daily embodiment of your highest aim. It’s not about escaping survival. It’s about making survival meaningful. It’s remembering that your work, your relationships, and your growth are all ways to live your values, one choice at a time.

When your actions express your inner truth, life stops feeling like maintenance and starts feeling more like a living, dynamic, and joyful creation.

Do this next:

Write down five values that feel essential to you. For each, ask: “If I had this, what would it give me?” Keep going until you reach something that feels like peace. That’s the foundation of your Ikigai, your reason for being.